The Art of the First Date

It seems that in today’s society of modern feminism and social justice, the art of dating is dying. I suppose feminists and social justice warriors are not entirely to blame for this. We’re essentially in a golden age of dating sites and hookup apps right now, with Tinder, Grindr, and so on, there seems to be much more emphasis in casual hookups as opposed to actually developing a genuine connection or relationship with that certain lady you find attractive.

This can be extremely dangerous for both sides of the “relationship.” There’s the obvious danger of unwanted pregnancy and STD’s, but it can also damage your future relationships. Since people are not developing actual human connections outside of those of the physical nature, it can leave you incredibly unprepared for when someone you like does try to make a deeper connection. In order to fix the problems we have with dating today, let’s start from square one: the first date. Here are four steps to make the perfect first date.

1. Set a time and stick to it

You hear about it all the time, especially as a plot point in rom-coms; someone falling apart because a date either showed up late or just flaked altogether. Unfortunately, this is more common than you may think. Punctuality in general is something else that’s in danger of dying, which probably warrants an entire article in and of itself. Punctuality is especially important when going on a date, and even more so when it’s the first date. Being on time is one of the biggest signs of commitment, and showing that level of commitment to a date can create a wonderful first impression. If you’re able to set a time and stick to it, then it’s essentially a testament to both commitment and punctuality.

2. Keep venue and attire casual

Since this is a first date, doing something extravagant like a fancy dinner or a night at the theater might be a bit much. Save that for an anniversary or Valentine’s Day. If you’re going on a first date, some great options include just going to a diner for lunch like something straight out of the 1950’s, going for a walk in the park, or even just a cup of coffee. Just keep it casual. Even as casual as things like these are, they can still be very intimate and romantic. On that note, I would advise not going to the movies or doing an at-home date for your first date, as those are better saved for future dates. As far as attire goes, again, keep it casual. I’m not saying that you can look like you just rolled out of bed or anything, but even something like a nice pair of jeans and a casual button-up shirt works great. Polo shirts are a great option as well. It’s all about looking casual and classy at the same time. Save your tux for that night at the theater.

3. Bring flowers

I’ve heard arguments against this, saying that it’s too much to bring someone a bouquet of flowers on a first date. In all honesty, I don’t get that point. Bringing that special lady a bouquet is a very sweet gesture that’s just another way of making a good first impression. Now, it doesn’t have to be anything extravagant like a dozen roses or anything, it can be something simple like an arrangement of daisies or forget-me-nots. Even if this first date ends up not developing into something more, your date will still appreciate the gesture, that alone may be enough for her to call you again. You’ll never know until you try!

4. Keep conversation colloquial and put the phone away!

It should come as no surprise that the best way to connect with someone is to talk to them. Therefore, this should be your primary focus on the first date. With that in mind, there are some things that should be avoided as far as conversation goes. There obvious big three are religion, politics, and sex. However, there are a few other things that should be avoided as well. Talking about past relationships and personal family matters should generally be avoided, as these topics can make the entire date incredibly awkward for both of you. Just keep your conversations simple. Talk about your hobbies, your favorite movies, recent trips you went on. If you’re both in school, talk about your classes or what each of you are studying. If you’re both working, talk about your jobs or your schedules, which can be helpful for setting up future dates! As a follow-up to all of this, just put your phone away. The whole point of the first date is to talk and get to know one another, so how do you expect to do that if you keep checking your phone? You can go an hour or two without checking Facebook or Instagram, I promise.

So there it is! Follow these steps and I’m sure your first date will go off without a hitch! Thanks for reading, and best of luck to all you gents out there who may have a date coming up!


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