CULTURE

10 Things You Need to do Before Popping the Question

There is nothing more loving and romantic in anyone’s life, especially in the life of a young woman, then the proposal of marriage. Yes, every woman in the world, and even some men, picture the perfect moment when they are being proposed to. But in order for there to be a perfect proposal that can lead to a great start to planning a successful wedding and great marriage, there are 10 things that anybody, particularly men, have got to do before popping the question to the one they truly love.

#10. When Do You Want To Propose?

When proposing to the one you love, timing is always essential, especially when it comes to what time of the year you want to get married. I always say, for example, “If you are planning on having a wedding in the summer of 2020, you want to propose during the winter of 2018 (meaning Christmas or Thanksgiving of that year) that would give you and your soon-to-be bride at least a year to a year-and-a-half to plan it and work all the details out.” If you are planning to get married in the winter of 2020, you want to propose around the fall of 2019 (meaning around Columbus Day or Labor Day). It’s all about timing when it comes to proposing, especially when it comes to setting the date for the wedding.

#9. Where to purchase the ring, the price of the ring, and the carat size of the diamond

When going ring shopping, you always want to make sure that you get a ring that is reflected not only at the price, but also reflecting the amount of the love and appreciation that you have for the one you love. For starters, do not (and I repeat do not) shop at the larger jewelry store chains of Kay Jewelers, Zales, James Allen, or Jared to purchase an engagement ring simply because, when you purchase more for less, it only reflects on the hard work you put in but only for something little. For example, if you go into one of these four stores to get a .75 carat diamond ring for $8500, but then want to upgrade to a 1 carat ring for $12000, you only reflect the amount you put in (with the dramatic increase in price) in exchange for a marginal increase in carat size. Also, it’s a common denominator for larger jewelry stores to sell more for less, especially when it’s the same type of ring everyone else is getting. The best place to find a engagement ring that fits the amount that you’re spending (not to mention you get more bang for your buck) is bestbrilliance.com. This website has become the number one site for couples wanting to find engagement rings and matching bands. For example, if you follow this link, you can find a 3-carat princess cut diamond engagement with a matching wedding band set for $6500, a 4-carat round cut diamond engagement ring with matching wedding band set for $7999, a 2.2 carat diamond halo engagement ring with wedding band matching set for $5000, or a 1.29 carat princess cut diamond engagement ring for $2000. There are two things people need to look at when it comes to shopping at these major stores: the price of the diamond and the size of the diamond. If you are spending more for less, then it’s not the type of diamond that your bride wants. If you’re spending the right amount for the diamond that is perfect for your bride, then you’ve hit the right place.

#8. When You Shouldn’t Propose

There’s always a day for someone to pop the question, but there are days in the life of a bride or an up to be fiance that you shouldn’t pop the question…. For starters, the person that you’re popping the question to never wants to be proposed to on their birthday. This is simply because there’s the excitement of celebrating their birthday mixed with the discomforting reaction of shock generated by seeing you on one knee asking for her hand in marriage. This situation could become immensely uncomfortable, especially if she says no. But in all honesty, most women do not want to share their birthday with the day they got proposed to. Other days that women don’t want to be proposed to on include major holidays such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve, or New Year’s Day. It goes back to the idea of sharing the day of you popping the question to her with a celebratory holiday, which could end tragically if you receive the wrong answer. And finally, never propose to your partner on the day of someone else’s wedding. Simply put, you are utilizing the celebratory nature of love and passion from someone else’s good fortune to try and bolster your own good luck. You want the day that you propose to be unique just to your partner, with no surrounding distractions.

#7. Picking the Perfect Songs to Propose To

During every proposal, there’s always going to be some type of music playing in the background to let the person know how you feel about them in your heart. You never want to play any type of music that’s going to have any sense of sexual tension, aggressive behavior, or the arrogance of the ego of a self-centered person. When picking out the perfect song to propose to, there are two things you need to look at: 1. The spiritual growth in each other when it comes to your true love and the imperfection of your true love for who she is as a person on the outside and the inside 2. The ability to let the world know how much you love your partner, through the good and bad times. For example, a song representing the spiritual growth in your love for each other would be Teddy Pendergrass’s “You’re My Latest Greatest Inspiration”. As it pertains to the second consideration, a perfect and exemplary song would beSELRES_3a4c7825-99ae-40cf-8145-1889a2abbb5cSELRES_6da15372-ef8d-4cda-abed-1b9a1cf54a31SELRES_5f091e7f-5253-4a94-9035-d9ac7eba5a94SELRES_c272549d-c029-4bbd-881b-f6c77ab47ea4SELRES_51149931-7286-4a9b-8d41-8e4edab78e9eSELRES_446f9555-2152-47c5-a35d-7c97533a3c7f “Always And Forever” by HeatwaveSELRES_446f9555-2152-47c5-a35d-7c97533a3c7fSELRES_51149931-7286-4a9b-8d41-8e4edab78e9eSELRES_c272549d-c029-4bbd-881b-f6c77ab47ea4SELRES_5f091e7f-5253-4a94-9035-d9ac7eba5a94SELRES_6da15372-ef8d-4cda-abed-1b9a1cf54a31SELRES_3a4c7825-99ae-40cf-8145-1889a2abbb5c, which exemplifies the idea that the emotional, romantic, spiritual, and physical connection you have with your partner will be everlasting and timeless. No matter what trials and tribulations you go through in life, always remember that through the unbreakable strength created between two individuals that love each other and the power of God, you will overcome any obstacle that is thrown in front of you.

Side Note: It is very important to note that you do not play any songs that were released within the last 18 years prior to your engagement. For example, if you got engaged or plan to get engaged in 2018 or 2019, then you cannot play a song that originated between the years 2000-2001. If the songs you choose were released either the year before your engagement or the year of your engagement, it will inevitably erode away the special nature and momentousness of what makes a one-of-a-kind and unique proposal. Older songs are often not repetitively played in one’s contemporary era, and in this way your proposal will be much more unique and special, not to mention memorable.

#6. Never Get Your Fiancee a Dozen Roses

It is customary during every proposal for a guy to get his beautiful fiancee a dozen roses after she accepts the proposal. It is a sweet and compassionate gesture of pure and unrelenting care; not to mention it manifests the color red, symbolic of love, respect, beauty, and appreciation. However, as we’ve seen over and over again, a dozen roses is a symbolization of common love that is omnipresent in society. In order to make your proposal one of a kind, you need to find a way to be extraordinary, and whether this entails amassing a collection of 1000 red roses, taking her to a symbolic and special place, or eloquently delivering a memorized speech proclaiming your love, it is ultimately up to your discretion to decide how to be extraordinary.

#5. Where You Should Propose and the Type of Proposal

A critical determinant in deciding the logistics of a proposal is the type of proposal you want. For instance, if you plan on doing a destination proposal, you always want to do a more casual and relaxed proposal. If you are going to propose on a beach in Costa Rica or in Tahiti with your closest friends and immediate family, then a romantic sunset and candlelit proposal on the beach is perfect for the manifestation and declaration of love. If you are interested in proposing in a foreign city overlooking a skyline, or near a famous monument that symbolizes love, then post-sunset is the optimal time, when all you see are the bright lights illuminating the sky. It is very important that you do not overdo it, but at the same time you want your partner to realize how perfect a moment this is, based upon their intrinsic perfection in your eyes. If you are proposing at home, do not choose a place where you both have already made precious memories. This location will only diminish the uniqueness of this consummate moment in your life. So, if you’re in your hometown and you plan on doing a casual proposal for just the two of you, then you would need to take her to the wine country and let her see the peace and tranquility of the vineyard. If you’re doing a formal ballroom proposal, then no place is better than a hotel or a private room at a restaurant where it’s formal and classy.

Side Note: Anyone doing destination proposals needs to remember one thing: do not, and I repeat do not, go to Paris or Disney World to propose since these are the immediate two choices for almost every person contemplating the prospect of proposing.

#4. Always Have a Professional Cinematographer and Photographer at the Proposal

It’s always nice to see family and friends snapping pictures on their phones to record the moment you propose to your loved one. However, it is conceivable that it may be nerve-racking to have your family and friends recording and taking pictures on their phones, while you have no one to engage in this activity specifically for you. It is always important for you to hire a reasonable and responsible photographer and cinematographer to film the night of your proposal and take photos of the actual moment. This is a pragmatic way to safeguard yourself against potential technical difficulties which may arise from having nonprofessionals capture this special moment. From the moment you arrive, from the moment that everything falls into place, to the moment where you drop down on one knee and her reaction, everything will be captured seamlessly and perfectly with the help of professionals.

#3. Asking Her Best Friends for Their Blessing

No bigger allies are more important to you, next to the family of the one you love, than her best friends. It is very important that you get their blessing in order for you to take the next step, before asking her family for their blessing. Many people will possibly question why you are asking your partner’s best friends for their blessing, but the reason is quite clear: your partner’s friends are the closest individuals they have in their life, in addition to their family. It is always important to establish a positive and relatable relationship with not only your partner’s family, but with their friends as well.

Side Note: It is also critical for you to realize that your partner’s close friends are always going to be your biggest ally outside of their siblings when it comes to asking for blessings because if their siblings say no, or if their siblings parents say no, then their best friends are going to be your biggest allies and also your biggest base when it comes to putting the entire proposal together. It is also important that their best friends keep this private and quiet and secretive, since you don’t want your partner to find out inconveniently. and spoil all your plans.

#2 Asking Her Siblings for Their Blessing

In an analogous way in which you would ask her friends for their blessing, asking your fiancee’s siblings involves a similar process as outlined above. However, the only thing about siblings when it comes to asking them for their blessing is that you don’t know what to expect. This is especially the case when you ask older siblings, since they tend to display a more protective attitude over their younger sister, and may try to utilize some form of intimidation against you to test your loyalty. This should not dissuade you however, and your display of perseverance will show the older siblings that you genuinely care about their younger sister, and that you are persistently devoted to her.

Side Note: Just like best friends, it is also critical for you to realize that siblings are always going to be your biggest ally, excluding her parents, when it comes to asking for her parents’ blessing (mainly her father). It is also important, as addressed in the previous section, that her siblings keep your plans private and quiet and secretive, to safeguard the biggest moment of your life.

#1. Asking for Her Father’s Blessing

No proposal can ever take place unless you have the absolute approval of the father of the love of your life. This is the most important approval to receive when it comes to proposing. The father is seen, in the majority of families, as the patriarch who keeps the family together, both in times of crisis and in times of celebration. If you do not have the father’s approval, then there’s no point in trying to do a proposal.

Side Note: If the father says no, then the next logical step is that the siblings try to get the father to change his mind, and if that doesn’t work, you go over the father’s head and you speak directly with his wife, and nine times out of ten she will get him to change his mind.

If you follow all ten of these rules, then you will have a proposal that is fit for the ages which will transcend the generality that has eroded the perceptions of contemporary proposals.

 

Follow the author on Twitter @JCarter5050

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